New Zealand 2016

I spent the first few days in Whangarei chasing down old friends from last year.  It was easy getting my hugs from Naylene and Sharon, I just walked into the Town Basin Marina office and said "give it to me."  I couldn't surprise them because they knew I was coming. Catching up with the band members of the Turbotronics was a little harder since they don't play at the pub across the street anymore.  But Naylene have Turbo coming by to play a few tunes for the Xmas party on their boat Kia Ama II and told him she have a surprise for him.  He must have guessed the brothers are back in town, because he didn't act surprise.  Maybe that email I sent him saying I was on my way to NZ.  One day I'm going to have to charge up the batteries for my camera so I can take some pics.  Or buy another expensive SLR digital Nikon so the salt water environment can eat it up again.  But in the meantime that waterproof Panasonic will have to do.

Speaking of missed pictures, or I can't find them, is the pictures of where Irie II got to dock this year for Xmas.  Right under the Christmas Tree in the park next to the marina.  And Santa still didn't find me, so no Xmas presents from the North Pole.  I didn't want much, just the end to all the problems of the world and a lot of boat parts.  Maybe I should have sent my list to the South Pole.

Christmas in New Zealand is just a little different then up north.  Summer flowers, Summer showers, just not the Summer temperatures,  Schools out for months,   Long days, don't get dark until after 9pm and the sun shinning thru the hatch wakes me up before 6am.  The marina have a contest for the best dressed Christmas boat..  Most of the participants are cruisers.  The locals don't bother much since they will all be leaving for the summer holidays.

A Kiwi tradition that I like is - all the businesses are closed for Christmas and closed for a couple of weeks afterwards, except the big stores and restaurants.  Everyone is headed for the beach, camping out for several days, all on their summer holidays.   And Santa is hanging out with them.  Heck who wants to go back to the North Pole after all that flying around in one night.  A vacation on the beach with reindeer is the way to spend the weeks after Xmas.

A Christmas in Whangarei without rain is a good Christmas and we lucked out, the grey skies didn't provide nothing but a drizzle so the pot luck dinner at the marina was another good social event, catching up with old cruising friends from last year.  And since I can't get any of those things to do on my list of boat projects, I might as well take me a summer holiday and do nothing.

Mid Jan. and most of the places that I need to do business with are back from holiday.  First thing to do is the things that I had planned on doing last year while in a place that have skilled labor.  :-)
Last year big ticket was replacing the chain plates - ended up rebuilding the inside of the boat.  This years big ticket is to replace the standing rigging.  That's all those wire ropes attached to the mast to keep it standing up and they attached to the chain plates that are attached to the hull.   There's too ways to do this.  Climb up the mast multiple times or take the mask off the boat.  I choose the latter since I'm old and lazy and got plenty of time and money.  :-)

And not to repeat the story, I'll just share with those who didn't get my email.  To keep all of my family and close friends up to date of my progress with this adventure, I sent them a big email explaining what's up since I was to busy to update this blog.  But, with my warp since of humor I decided to make a joke out of the ordeal.  It goes something like this.

I sent this email out back  in May.  I added a few more pictures in this version.

Yeah,

It has been months since I’ve updated the blog.  And I have been getting a bunch of emails wanting to know what’s up?  And since I don’t have the time to catch up on the blog I’ll just give a quick update to everyone via email.
Since last blog entry, I left the Hapai Group, Tonga for Vava’u Group.  From there to Samoa.  From there to American Samoa.  From there back to Vava’u and then to Tongatapu.  From there to Minerva Reef.  From there to Whangarei New Zealand where the current story begin.
I arrive here a week before Christmas.  Put the hat under the tree, hung the stockings and no Santa, he went to the beach with everyone else who lives in New Zealand.  Everything close and no work getting done.  Finally weeks after the New Year I get boatnapped.  They won’t let it go until I give them a whole lot of money.  And they don’t want an old expat from America living in NZ.  So until I pay,  they come by and took the mast off the boat and strip all the rigging and wires from it.  Maintenance that was supposed to be done last year.

 

Then they tell me the standing rigging isn’t the only thing that need fixing.   Need new spreader lights, internal wire conduit need repairs, corrosion, new wires and Mo $$$$$$.  And time.

 

While waiting on parts and supplies to  be shipped from the US, they came by to work on another last years project – the anchor rollers.  But the inspectors found wood rot in the bow sprit.

 

Working on anchor rollers

The fabricator wanted me to make a pattern out of wood.

 So while waiting on them to tell me how much that is going to cost, Mo $$$$$$$$ I found enough balance on my cc to have them release my mast and put it back on the boat.

Then as soon as I get back to the slip in the marina they take away the bow sprit.

 
Stripped all the paint off, looking for more rot.  Found some.

 

With enough money you can fix anything.

 
Scarf in new pieces of wood to make the whole think as good as new.

 

Someone must have told them I didn’t have enough money to pay for a new one, so they took the boat out of the water so now I can’t leave.  Mo $$$$$$

 

 

And just in case there was a flood they took the prop and shaft off the boat so i couldn’t float away without paying.  Not to mention they disassemble the engine and sent the life raft away.  Welding stuff on the back end, and to top it all off they destroyed the main sail on the way to Samoa and haven’t gotten a replacement made yet, and the head sails are gone for repairs too.  And then they drill a bunch of holes in the dinghy just in case i was thinking of using it as a get away.

‘puter acting funny.  ect.   And that’ the short story.  But health is good, the frig still working and the beer is cold.  So is the air temp.  This is my current state with only 6 weeks left on my visa.  And over the limit on my Visa card.  So if you would feel so kind to help a brother out just send me your credit card numbers  and I’ll fire them (aka me) and pay a professional to do the work and sail me out of here.
And Phil isn’t faring much better, at least his boat is still in the water.


Al Donatto
http://www.sailblogs.com/member/sv_irieii/
Time for a break.

_____________________

I was hoping everyone would get a big laugh out of that email.  But I was wrong, here are some of the responses I got.

I  was reading your email. J and I was talking, its seems like you are being shanghaied or is this a big, big ruse. Please let us know what we can do to help.  

Who is they? The government? Is this a joke! What about private property rights? What the devil is the cause of such a situation?  I was gonna give you my credit # but I pushed send already.

Are you serious????????

Damn AL,

They want you to swim home? Is it prejudice there? I cant send a cc,but I can send a little cash. 

Hey Man, damn! That Sounds Pretty FUCK up!

.

Dam broyher, you need a reality show so that we csn follow you yravrls atoind the world.  

OW NOOOOO!!!! How did it get so far Al??? NOT a good start to tje new year to say the very least!! This puts a massive hold on your cruising plans. So, whats happening now? Going back home and work for a year? Did they really put holes in your dinghy? Who's ginna pay for that repair? I'm sorry to hear it man, massive ballache... fark... amd you are going into winter now too... them kiwi winters are pretty darn cold! !!
Hope you get sorted and outta there soon, pref with a boat.... or what is left of it

Thanks for the update Al.  Are you going to be able to get the boat shipshape or is another boat in your line of sight?

Yikes! Poor Irie! No wonder you wore out your work clothes.

 Ha. Sounds like you live on a boat.

  Lord I can't tell what's tongue in check and humor and what's not!:( And can't tell what's real in how you really are?:( Don't know enough about boats to understand what's been done to boat and what's needed but it is scary cause you are a long damn way from home!!:(   

Sorry to hear about being you being "boatnapped!" When do you think you'll get to leave that God forsaken place?

OMG, Al. Have you talked to the American Embassy?  This is beyond awful. This is criminal. 

Better get some help from the US Embassy!!!

Al, Geezus fucking A....wow...what a comedic tragedy. . I hope the energy shifts to the other side of the spectrum... Tight lines man
.be well and medicated..

Whilst we cannot become your benefactor that will lead to your escape - we wish you well.

 Boat work never ends, Hang in there buddy

I doubt that this e-mail is real.  Al, if this is you, what gift did L and I give you for your boat on our  sail to Isla?  

Oh no, not BOATNAPPED!

Here is the number for my AMEX Platinum card, Hope it helps!

 3338822255-88, expires 13/00.

  And that number is in code. Type on old flip phone to see!

Man, I just don’t feel the love coming from those people down there. What you describe sounds more personal than anything else. Is it they don’t like Americans or they don’t like Black Americans? All thoughts of going there has left my mine. Very evil, very evil.   My prayers are not much, but it’s what I have right now. Hoping for the best for you and Phil. 

Damn Al, no wonder G is so worried about you.  Called me up last night in a panic.  Said JR called him and said he was about to send you a bunch of money.

Sorry to hear about the boat problems. How much are you trying to raise to get hell out of there? How many more seasons will IrieII be able to withstand after the current repairs are completed. We are all concerned about you and Phil.

Wow! Unfuckingbelievable! How can those NZ bastard get away with that shit!  You should report them!  

After getting those responses, I'm ROFLMAO.  
Along with Phil.  I guess we been away from USA too long.  As you can tell not everyone thought it was a joke, and Big Sis wanted me to send another email explaining the siuation.  But I had to wait awhile longer because if no one else was having fun with that email, I sure was.

But eventually I sent this out;
___________________________________________________-

Big sister said, "Al, you got some 'splainin' do to to your friends and family who either thought you were being shaken down or the victim of a scam."

Half the people on my list know I got a warp since of humor and got the joke and half the people thought I was serious and haft the people didn't care and half the people have block all my emails thinking my account have been hacked and I may never hear from them again. 

So to those who mistook my last email as a scam or a kidnapping forcing me to ask for cc numbers I am truly sorry to have cause you to freak out and stress out and worry about poor little me out here in this big ass ocean.  But I did find out that my world include a bunch of people who have my best interest at heart and IF I'm every in need they will do whatever they can to help.

Dennis said, "What a story.  Almost sounds like one of those emails from somewhere in Nigeria or Libiya saying,  'I'm being held ransom.'" Mike said, "Geezus fucking A....wow...what a comedic tragedy."   

Well that was what it was meant to sound like.  Have anyone every gotten or heard of atrue story where someone in trouble actually sent an email like those coming from Nigeria, Libya, Philippines, Welsh,  asking for money or credit card numbers?  

Marvin said, "I thought it was supposed to be funny ,but I've gotten used to emojis to differentiate."  

Hope this helps.  I'll try to remember to include them next time.

Lil Sis, said, "I knew it was just you telling your story... anybody that's read any of your emails or blogs should have realized that."

Lil Bro said, "If it’s that easy to shake people up over money, I might have to tell my crazy NZ $$$$ story."

Big Bro Said "I took it seriously until you asked for credit card numbers." 

Med. Bro actually sent some numbers - in code, I doubt it was for a real credit card. One day I'll try to break the code but since I'm not very good at spamming and scamming I doubt I can figure it out.

So reread that old email if you haven't deleted it already, with the following in mind.

 

To upload pics to blog is time consuming and need good internet - and I don' have a lot of time or good internet.  And I'm 6 months behind, which mean a lot of pics to edit and post.

Anything on my Visa Card is over my limit.  My IRA is still funded, now if a stock market crash - I'm in trouble.  And now receiving Social Security.  So I'm not in need of money, but if you still want to send me a credit card number . . .  

Boatnapped = Scheduled preventive maintenance.  boat out of water for maintenance like replacing 20yr old prop shaft.  routine engine maintenance.  semi annual liferaft inspection.  sail repairs and new main sail.  holes in dinghy to mount retractable wheels.  

Visa can be extended if needed.  

They & them = Frank or  Al and friends or Gremlins and Femlins.  (No government or Businesses)

I or me & my = Frank or Al (Frank pays for it all and Al have all the fun) my split personalty

Phil is completely redoing his freezer/frig and inside of the boat is a mess.  Looks as bad as mind did last year.  He should be all clean up and ready to go by the end of the month.

And remember Spammers and hackers don't send pictures of the individual that they are f__ g with.

Hopefully that email  put everyone at ease and get them ready for the next one.  Here are some of the responses;

Disclaimer..Lmao I was in the airport when I read the original post. I thought it was supposed to be funny ,but I've gotten used to emojis to differentiate. I was trying to be safe than sorry. 

Haha, okay , when you tell me your  boat sank I'll be sure to laugh.  Oh yeah  didn't you say something about returning to New Zealand to see some of the country?  Yeah, it's a little funny, I get your adventures maintenance log.  

OKAY , I BIT...

After I suggested he contact the American Embassy, Al told me, much later, that his post was A  JOKE!.  I cursed him out and told him that he had gotten people really upset.  Phil seems fine.  He has been doing some boat rehab and sounds great.

But Al,  I think we may need to send him some Kick Ass in a Can!!

Ha, hah. I realized it was a joke, Al. 

Yeah, I got a text from a cousin worried about you.

Sure is a shame that someone can't use their snarky sense of humor without it seeming like a scam  :)

Holy Shit, Al. I was trying to figure out who I knew who could help you. J and I both thought you'd lost Irie 11 and would be flying home soon.  Don't scare me laugh me that again. 

I do now!! Whew!!

You sure fooled me!

Bwahaha.....I love your humour...  Get medicated on tight lines and wahine 

I knew it was just you telling your story... anybody that's read any of your emails or blogs should have realized that.

I think some of the concern was from people genuinely worried about you having to go thru all of that work on the boat so far away from home.

You over estimate the intelligence of American voters.  They will believe anything!

  I know you better than to think you were scamming:) I just don't know how far you'll joke and you sure seem to have had a lot of repairs on boat!! 

I figured this was a very sophisticated scam or a prank.  Since no else panicked, i didn't.

As Always.  Like your attitude.   "Keeping your eye on the goal to circumvent the world, so this is not an obstacle, just an extended beer stop." 

Lesson 2,  Next time.  By pass New Zealand

Abandon the friggin boat and bring your ass home. Donald Trump will provide for you.

Ok I get the joke now!  You had me scared.  

Man, I apologize. I do more scanning than reading these days. I was looking around for some of my boys to do instead of a drive-by, a sail-by. Also on the corner to sale bottles to get enough money for a plane ticket to rescue you. I will do a better job in reading next time. All I could say when I was scanning was whaaaaaaaaaaaat. Too funny now, and a little embarrassing. Don’t tell nobody.

____________________________

Now for the rest of the story;
Next email;

Wish I had the time to email everyone personally or update the blog, but . . .   So this email goes to all that’s on my list.  And feel free to share to all who may be interested.

Disclaimer -  This is not spam,  Please read carefully.  and if you still want to send me money I’m sure we can make proper arrangements.  The names have been change to protect the stupid and the state of affairs has been change to make this a comedic tragedy.  

What’s the difference between a Fairy Tale and a Sailor’s Story?

A Fairy Tale starts off “Once upon a time ... “

A Sailor’s Story starts off “No shit, this really happen...” 

No shit mon, tis really hap’n.   The last time you heard from me the boat was undergoing massive extensive expensive repairs to the mast, the rigging, the anchor rollers, bow sprit, prop shaft, engine heat exchanger, life raft, a new wind generator, new main sail and repairs to the jib and staysail and other canvas, dinghy wheels, a bottom job, and ‘puter acting funny.  And numerous other projects that will have to be put in a book one day.

For those who do not know - Irie II is not falling apart.    This is just the normal life cycle for a Taiwan built  boat that is 35 years old.  Add to that she is also trying to take a 62 year old dummy around the world by himself,  who think he can do all repairs by himself with a lot of help from sea nymphs.  When I left Tx back in 01/13, I knew some of the previous mentioned massive extensive expensive repairs would have to be done soon.  Research (aka The Google) said New Zealand was a very good place to get this type of work done.  I just didn’t think it was going to take 2 cruising off-seasons to complete them all.  I’ve spent a total of 12 months in NZ and have only seen pictures of other places besides boat stores and boat yards.

While being held captive at Riverside Marina waiting on a new prop shaft to be made and cutlass bearing to be shipped the guys at the Wood Shed started the repairs on that rotten bow sprit.  Mike actually let me used his shed to strip the paint off.  But to get it right the first time he done the rest.  No more rot, almost to pretty to paint.

 

But to try and keep the rot away for a few more years, paint they make me do.  Here’s a pic of the almost finish project.  

                     

Note the dinghy in the background, I gave them a little money and they plugged the holes with nuts and bolts and dinghy wheels to make it easy for that old fart to pull it onto the beach.

After they finally put the new prop shaft and prop back in the hole and got the new heat exchanger installed (last year’s project), installed a new wind generator, new zinc anodes, new bottom paint and polished the hull and put the bow sprit and all the attachments back on the boat - there’s only one more thing to do before the big splash.  Pay for it, so thanks to all who sent me their cc no.s  Especially Frank, now Al can go have fun.  

But before he can go have fun they gonna have to finish what they started.  Finally after all those days waiting for no rain, the bow sprit have gotten the last coat of varnish, this year, and the anchor rollers installed with the anchors ready to go.  It even met Phil’s approval.  All I can say for that amount of money it better look good.  Now if it perform the task, SWEET AS.  

On the way to work one day, reminds me of  http://www.pinkphurree.org/

After they put everything back on the boat and tuned and adjusted everything and then fueled up, it’s time to play a trick on the Gremlins.  I know of at least a dozen boats that have had to turn around and come back to NZ for repairs after checking out.  Writing on the bathroom wall, “Whangarei is NZ’s hotel California, you can check out but you can never leave.”    Those Gremlins don’t come out to bite ya, until they feel the motion of the ocean.  So I take the boat out for a few sea trails.  And just as expected the Gremlins attack.   First attack, new main sail don’t fit right but the repairs on the other sails good. Then the engine stalled after startup.Then the wind and depth instruments went out, then the backup handheld gps won’t power up, then the bilge pumps come on when I turn on the water maker, then the fresh water pump keeps cycling indicating a leak somewhere,  then the transmission don’t feel right,  and then and then and then  it gets fricking cold, well it’s winter now and time to go. 

Came back to Town Basin Marina in Whangarei and made all repairs those Gremlins caused.  Hope that done the trick because in a few days my visa is over and the weather is predicted to calm down for a good trip north to Fiji via a stop in Minerva Reef.  I will be joined on this trek north with all the other stragglers and late bloomer sailors except for one.  Poor Phil is still working on his frig/freezer.  He’s hoping to be able to make the next good weather pattern in about 10 days.

Everything is being stored away for a 10+ day trip to Fiji.  One more trip to Pak n Sav for provisioning.  The butterflies are swarming, I know I forgot something, just can’t think of it.   I will be leaving Whangarei in the morning for Marsen Cove.  Check out with customs and be on the way on local Tuesday.

For those who would like to follow my progress here are a few options.  Sorry NO face book posting.

First go to the blog at   https://irieii.blogspot.com/   If the blog ever ask for a password, use Texas.

1.    click Yacht in Transit.  https://www.yit.nz/  From the home page just page down and find Irie II, click, and it’ll show you a map and where I might be with a short message.  You can subscribe for notifications.
2.  For real time, right now, click on SPOT tracker.  If I remembered to turn it on it does automatic updates about every 15min.

3.    Below that is Shiptrak and Winlink, just click and up come a bunch of my  reported positions.

4.    Marine traffic.  Position reports by AIS.

5.    And if you want to see the weather where I’m at, click winds of the world and don’t forget to support Pink Phurree.

6.  Or call me on the cell phone, satellite phone, skype, VHF, SSB or HAM radio and I'll tell you.

Promise the blog will be updated when I get to Fiji and find good internet connection.  

Al Donatto